


Love Safely

by cjjade



Series: The Power of Love [6]
Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, No Smut, Non-Graphic Violence, Past Abuse, Past Domestic Violence, Past Unhealthy Relationship, implied Lee Carter/Whitney Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:34:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27672761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjjade/pseuds/cjjade
Summary: Sam finds out what Johnny has been hiding.Rating is based on the theme
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell, Johnny Carter/Original Character(s)
Series: The Power of Love [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1508435
Kudos: 6





	Love Safely

**Author's Note:**

> So many people are excited for a Sam one shot, and it feels me with joy. To create a character that people love as much as the ones on screen. Yes I sort of had Jason Jensen in mind when I wrote him, it was unintentional honestly, but I do see Dean and Ben on par with each other. 
> 
> This one request was harder to write, because as I said I don't do well with these themes, as it hits very close to home. But Jacey requested Johnny coming from an abusive relationship, and then as I was writing it really set up the next story well. 
> 
> Thank You Jacey my wonderful lovely beta!!

**TRIGGER WARNING**

**Domestic Violence and Abuse, and even Obsessive Love Themes are present in this story. While they're not graphic, some may regard them as triggers.**

**Love Safely**

Samuel Lewis looked around the small room that he was currently staying in. Johnny was passed out in his bed finally crashing after he felt safe enough to do so. The last couple hours of his life felt like a nightmare. The only thing that kept Sam from calling Callum was Johnny’s shaky broken tone. Callum was his brother; Callum was someone that Johnny always wanted to be like. Callum never knew of course, but Johnny envied him. Growing up Callum never allowed anyone to tell him what to think or how to act. Even if he got made fun of, laughed at, treated like absolute trash Callum never backed down not even to Lee. Now Johnny saw a new side of Callum. Callum was more unbreakable to Johnny than ever before.

Johnny wanted to be that strong. 

Sam shifted in his seat rubbing his eyes, wanting to move but also not wanting Johnny to wake up. Callum had no idea how much Johnny admired him. It shook Sam to his core how much they looked to Callum as their brother even before. Like somehow on some level they always knew. Nancy was exceedingly protective of her brothers. She didn’t like Whitney, she didn’t trust Ben, and made her strong dislike of Sam exceedingly well known. He didn’t know if that’s because she just didn’t think they were worthy, or she just didn’t like any of them. Sam knew the moment Callum knew, he’d go into full gear, nothing would stop him. Maybe Johnny made the right call, he’d seen Callum act without thought before. It never ended good for the other side. 

Standing up slowly he moved away from the bed, the fear in those crystal blue eyes not something that he would ever forget. The way he fought against Sam until he just broke down. Sam had never felt more helpless with the man. Looking out his window the storm was still blowing, the lightening flashing in the sky brightly. Sam looked over to Johnny as thunder echoed through his small room. Callum wanted him out of this place, but Sam was so used to staying in questionable hotel rooms until he moved on. 

Only he wasn’t moving on-- was he?

Looking back Sam recalled the night he met Johnny. There had just been something about him, taking him back to his room was not even a question. The bruises he found on his smooth pale ivory skin never came to his mind. Assumed later that he had been with someone who had gone a little too rough or maybe they had been job related. Never looked deeper, Johnny never gave him reasons to look deeper. Now looking at Johnny it made all the sense in the world. Sam felt like he was the one who put the marks on his perfect skin. He should have known; he should have seen the signs. He’d seen it before in missions.

He was better than this.

The way Johnny refused to talk about his ex, he knew there was one, even knew it was serious. Though Johnny never spoke about it. The way he jumped on that he wasn’t right for them, they wanted more, they needed more than he was. The way he just accepted everything that Sam wanted to do. He never said no, Sam had been in full control. The way he looked so crushed when Sam broke their date a few weeks ago, and Johnny saw him with Riley later that night. Closing his eyes his heart hurt. Sam knew the moment Johnny’s eyes met his, the moment Johnny turned and walked out of The Albert. They were done. He had tried to call, tried to buy him a drink, but Johnny just said no then left. 

The way Johnny never thought he was good enough. The whole time Sam had thought that Johnny just didn’t need the words. That he didn’t press for anything because he knew Sam needed the time. Maybe he did, maybe he hadn’t got that part wrong. Opening his eyes, Callum had tried to explain that Riley was an old friend of theirs. That he was just passing through, even Ben stepped in. Then Lee got sick. Sam didn’t want to push because Lee wasn’t getting better, but than he did. 

Then tonight happened.

Crashing into Johnny who was running and shaking, Johnny who had a face of pure terror, his breathing erratic. The way he tried to push Sam away until Sam got him to stop, until he saw the man across the street. He was tall, broad, eyes looking sharp on Sam. Johnny saw him, froze, his breathing just stopped. Sam had seen that look before, there was no way to write off that look. Sam didn’t need to ask who he was, he just moved Johnny with him. Johnny went willing, walking with him until they were outside Sam's room. Both soaking wet from the storm, Sam held him as he cried, held him until he fell asleep. When he got up Johnny woke up, so Sam stayed in the uncomfortable chair, close so Johnny knew he was safe.

“Sam,” Johnny mumbled sitting up rubbing his eyes, Sam smiled he looked so much younger when he first woke up.

“Right here,” Sam told him gently moving towards him. “It’s not even midnight, go back to sleep.” Johnny sat up, Sam’s eyes roaming over his exposed body checking for any marks. Sam wanted to touch him but feared Johnny would not react well. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I need to get home,” Johnny mumbled looking around his room, Sam felt worse.

“Just sleep,” Sam told him watching him shake his head as he stood up. “Johnny.” Sam tried again but watched him look around for his clothes. “The storm is deadly, you can barely see anything, just stay until morning.” Johnny look around, Sam could almost see his confused face. “Please.”

“I don’t need you pity,” Johnny yelled wrapping the sheets around him like a shield.

The moment Johnny woke up he forgot for a moment, the last weeks fading away into nothing. For a moment he thought that maybe he found someone who could see him, just him. Someone who would want him, and no one else. Finally felt like he was enough. He had been wrong. Sam had dodged his calls for two days, then broke their date to be with someone else. The moment he walked into that bar, saw them together laughing, Johnny had known. He had known once again he fell for the pretty words. He was once again the sucker to be forgotten within a month’s time. 

Tom had been right, no one would want him, not really. Then it came back to him, his eyes were wide as he slipped out of the bed. Tom was here in Walford, he had followed him like he promised he would if Johnny ever left. Johnny had told no one about Tom, never spoke of the fifteen months they were together. Tom hadn’t wanted them to know, didn't want one to know. Johnny wanted to forget, he wanted to come home and pick up the pieces. Just put himself back together again, be Johnny Carter. He didn’t need anyone, and he didn’t need to be someone's right now.

It just felt so good being with Sam.

“Is that what you think,” Sam whispered not moving, Johnny was already starting to shake.

“You don’t need to do this,” Johnny groaned closing his eyes willing his breaking heart to stop. “We’re fine, I’ve been here before.”

“I think you are misreading our whole situation,” Sam told him moving towards him slowly.

“I’m not stupid,” Johnny snapped turning to face Sam, his face now full of anger.

“I have never thought that,” Sam snapped back closing his eyes, he didn’t want to lose his temper. “I should have explained…”

“I don’t need an explanation,” Johnny mumbled looking away holding the sheet tighter around his body.

“Clearly you do,” Sam remarked not knowing how to react, Johnny looked up at him sharply. “I’ve been in one serious relationship my entire life, and it wasn’t what you would call healthy.” Johnny felt his face soften Sam was coming closer. “She died then I joined the Army to die to be with her.” Johnny had known all that, he had mentioned it briefly but hearing it again in that tone. “I should have told you about Riley, but I assumed Callum did.” Johnny opened his mouth only to have Sam raise his hand. “I know.” Sam groaned Johnny wondered if Callum had yelled at him already. “I am sorry.” Johnny smiled at how desperate and defeated he sounded. “I don’t know how to do this.”

“His name is Tom Baker,” Johnny told him moving to sit on the bed again. “He’s a bartender, we met through someone I worked with.” Sam watched as Johnny stiffed up as the memories came back. “It started small, first my friends were trying to keep us apart, so I stopped answering their calls.” Johnny looked down at the ground. “Then my flat wasn’t in a good neighborhood, so I moved in with him.” The sheet slowly fell off his shoulders, as Sam came to sit next to him. “From there I ate what he told me, I exercised on the schedule he made for me because he decided I weighed too much. I never told anyone about him especially not family because they’d never approve of him.” Johnny voice was bitter. “I dressed how he wanted, I posted what he told me, I cooked and clean, I did everything just like he wanted but….”

Johnny didn’t know how he ended up in the situation he did if he was honest. Their first date had been decent, Tom was charming and sweet. He was tall, broad shoulders with dark brown hair and chocolate eyes. He said all the right thing, and Johnny could see them going on a second. Then Tom met his friends after a couple weeks, none of them liked him. Johnny fell for his lines, fell for his trap, after a big fight Tom convinced him to change his number. Then weeks later Johnny moved in with him. Just for a few weeks Johnny had said, they’d only been seeing one another for six weeks. Before Johnny knew it he was staying because Tom made him think; “who else is going to love me like this.”

The comments on his weight started, Johnny had laughed them off until Tom made him see he was serious. Then the first time he cheated. Johnny had cried for hours, blamed himself because Tom had got into his head. Tom had put it on him, if Johnny had been more devoted more loving he wouldn’t have looked elsewhere. If Johnny had looked better, done better—it was all his fault, Tom couldn't be to blame. Johnny changed his eating habits, changed his work hours so he was home before Tom. He showered, cleaned, cooked meals, treated Tom like he was a king. Tom still cheated, then he started to bring them home, Johnny let him in the end. 

Johnny let him and he still didn’t know why. 

Tom had been so broken the first time he hit him. Johnny had almost left, but then he laid it on thick, he’d been a fool. They could work through this, but they never did. Then Callum and Ben happened, Tom grew jealous then angry. Tom quit Johnny’s job for him after Christmas, he was not to leave without permission. He became obsessed with Ben before that, almost ruined his relationship with Callum. Then the worst night, for one brief moment Johnny truly believed he would not make it. He only thought of what his family would do, he had just found Callum again. Tom came back smelling of whoever he had been with, carrying ugly flowers and cheat sweets. Johnny smiled, took the presents like everything was fine. 

Until nine days later. Johnny's mate Harper hid him away until he healed enough to hide the marks and get Tom off his track. Until he went home finally. Until he met Sam. Until he felt good for the first time in fifteen months. Until....

“Did he hit you,” Sam asked already knowing the answer before Johnny spoke. “Johnny?” Sam's voice a whisper.

“Not at first,” Johnny muttered closing his eyes willing his body to stop shaking. “The first time I almost left, but then he seemed so broken, like he really was sorry.”

“They always do,” Sam said standing up looking down at Johnny, exhaling deeply. “How did Mick not notice? Or Linda, she’s hyperaware of everything you do?”

“He refused to allow me to tell anyone about us,” Johnny explained wiping the tears away, looking up at him. “No one ever knew anything. If I didn’t call for weeks I’d say work got slammed, when I didn’t come home like promised I blames my budget.” Sam frowned, he looked so broken so small. “I was stupid thinking he’d let me go.”

“He isn’t coming near you again,” Sam snapped falling to his knees. “I care Johnny.” Johnny smiled softly his hand going to Sam’s face. “I need you to talk to me, don’t agree to anything because you think you’ll make me mad.” Johnny nodded gently as Sam’s leaned his cheek against Johnny’s thigh. “I haven’t…” Sam lifted his head, needing to know. “We haven’t done anything you haven’t been okay with, right?” Sam watched Johnny smile brightly.

“I’ve been onboard with everything we’ve done,” Johnny promised, Sam felt himself sigh with relief. 

“I need you to tell me if something ever comes up,” Sam begged, he wouldn’t survive if he ever hurt Johnny. “I need to know what you are thinking, feeling?” Johnny smile fades. “Whatever he told you is a lie!” Sam knew the next time he saw this Tom he wouldn’t be as lucky as tonight. “I need to know what you want?”

“You,” Johnny told him simply.

XOXO

Johnny shifted in the bed looking to the side to see that Sam was still sleep, face down in the pillow facing the opposite way. The first thing that Johnny learned was that Sam moved away from people when he slept. He had commented that he had been like that as a child. His body always radiated a lot of heat, so he tended to move away from heat sources. It was why he preferred sharing a bed with Callum other than anyone of their other teammates. 

Callum was the same way. They always stayed on their own side automatically, it was perfect.. Sam and Callum were both openly honest that the times they had shared a bed in the past weren’t romantic, or awkward. Somehow they were just Callum and Sam, opposites but somehow connected. Johnny found their relationship sweet. That two men who were in the Army, that radiated such alpha tendencies could be so openly affectionate and soft. 

Sitting up, Sam’s body like Callum’s showed the line of work they were in. Johnny like Ben didn’t ask for more than he needed to know. He might ask about Riley now; he may even ask more stories about George but honestly George terrified him. More out of the fact he was big like Tom, than him as a person. Johnny could tell George was a good man. Had sat with him once, he was a big teddy bear with a hearty laugh. Tom was cruel. Moving his hand down Sam’s back he came to his shoulder, a scar that was more a design. A brand Johnny thought as he traced the mark in Sam's skin. 

Johnny stopped, the mark looked exactly like the one Callum had in the exact same spot. 

As much as Callum was incapable of naps Sam relished in them. Callum would make jokes about how Sam was the king of the cat nap, how he could lay down for twenty minutes and be good to go for awhile. Sleeping wasn’t something that Callum liked, he’d go days without sleep until finally his body crashed. While Sam needed sleep, he loved falling into his bed and just melting into the mattress. What Sam didn’t like were the dreams, they were never good dreams---until now. Sam felt himself being awoken by gently trace on his back, he smiled. Sam turned over smiling at Johnny who looked brighter this morning.

“You and Callum have the same scar on your shoulder,” Johnny remarked softly watching Sam nod sliding to sit up.

“A mission,” Sam mumbled rubbing his eyes waiting to see if Johnny would ask more. “It was one of our first, the men who did it, did it to everyone.”

“Like a brand,” Johnny stated without meaning to. The moment Sam nodded Johnny’s felt his stomach sour. He shouldn't have brought it up.

“Don’t dwell on it babe,” Sam smile softly not wanting him to obsess over what couldn’t be changed. “It’s always been a joke between Callie and me.” Sam gave a pause he could almost feel the burn on his shoulder again. “That it linked us together somehow.” Sam leaning his head back, Johnny watched him smile almost fondly. “That was the mission that changed everything for us.” Sam laughed recalling Callum’s anger; in a blink of an eye they became everything to each other, felt that something they couldn’t name. “After that Callum just sort of became my one person, no one knew me like he did. No one still does.”

“Same for him,” Johnny replied smiling, Sam rolled his eyes. “I am serious Sam.” Johnny voice was stern. “Ben may be the love of his life, but he’ll never know Callum the way you do.” Johnny stopped until Sam’s eyes met his. “And if I am being honest I don’t want to know you like that. Callum can have that side of you, I much prefer this one.” Sam laughed.

Sam had told Ben a softer version of the truth, and he told Johnny more of the real thing. Callum was the only person on this planet who knew the whole truth. Not even his family knew, they didn’t know about her. They didn’t know what had been happening. Sam had been so young, they had all been so young and foolish. In one night, he had lost the woman he loved and his best mate, who he also loved. It had all happened so fast. Callum knew what had happened, had loved him anyways. Had forced him back into the world of the living, for that his family loved Callum. 

Elle especially, they really should go back to Colorado sometime. 

Sam wanted to tell Johnny everything, but he couldn’t get the words to come out. Callum told him he would be able to in time, maybe he’d even tell Ben. Sam liked Ben, he was fun and got all his hidden jokes. It was nice having real connections again. Callum was a part of him when he told his family about Callum they cheered. When he mentioned Callum was settling down, sent his mum a photo of Callum and Lexi she cried. She was so happy for him, that he was finally free. His grandmother demanded Sam bring Callum home sometime soon, his new family too, she adored Callum. 

Sam's sisters never asked when he was coming home, they knew wherever Callum was that was his home. Sam liked Walford, he cared for Johnny, this could work out for him. Sam watched Johnny slip out of bed walk towards the bathroom, Sam felt like he was still being weighed down but also not. Ben told him it would take time, that he needed to be honest not only with Johnny but with himself. Ben told him that part of his problem was not letting Paul go, but accepting the fact that he had already let Paul go and wanted Callum. 

Sam was beginning to feel that. 

XOXO

Johnny smiled as he watched Sam sleep, they had spent most of the day in bed. Callum had called earlier; Johnny could not hide how red his face got when he realized he answered Sam’s phone not his own. The amusement in Callum’s voice was not one he was used to. Sam had chuckled taking the phone as Johnny had sat there wanting to die, hiding under the blankets. As Sam stated it wasn’t like Callum didn’t know they were seeing each other. Johnny eyes had gone wide when Sam had confessed Callum knew everything about their relationship. 

Sam laughed as he nodded when Johnny mouthed, _EVERYTHING_.

Callum called to invite Sam out to dinner, which Sam f course accepted. Ben texted Johnny a few moments later telling him he was invited too. Ben called a little bit ago after Sam had fallen asleep. Johnny relished in the fact Sam nap when he was here. Callum had admitted not long ago that Sam doesn’t just take long naps with anyone. Johnny wondered if maybe that was why Callum never took them, even at their house. He was always on guard body always alert for an incoming attack. He had gotten better with Ben, but naps still weren’t his thing.

Ben had admitted that they had planned tonight as a way to ambush Johnny into seeing Sam if he wanted to or not. Callum needed Johnny to see that Riley had been nothing but a mate passing through town. Johnny felt stupid now, but apparently Riley knew nothing. At least when he came back through town Johnny didn’t have to worry about him thinking Johnny was a jealous territorial freak. Johnny didn’t know how to deal with the thoughts in his head. Tom’s voice. It was quieter than it had been he just didn’t know how to vocalize what he wanted, with the shame seeping through his veins. 

“What time is it,” Sam grumbled looking to the side but unable to see the clock.

“You got time to shower,” Johnny laughed drying his hair thankful he still had some clothes here from one of his overnights. “Ben wants to meet at The Vic instead.” Sam looked at Johnny curiously, slipping out of the bed. “Mum and Callum got into a little disagreement about her ordering system.” Sam laughed. “Dad agreed with Callum…”

“Say no more,” Sam groaning as he stretched, Johnny watching him do so smiling.

Sam did not want to shower but he also knew that he had to, it was sweaty and sticky. Not that Callum would care, he had seen him in a lot worse condition but then again this was different. Johnny was his baby bother. Sam walked in the bathroom looking in the mirror, the bathroom was cleaned. It used to make him smile but now he wondered if Johnny had been forced to do this. Sam looked around, even the smell of lemon lingered in the air. So many little things about Johnny that Sam had wondered why, now made sense. 

Only not in a good way, in a bad heartbreaking way.

This broke Sam inside in ways he had not been prepared for. Turning the water on Sam exhaled as the steam filled the room, Sam just needed a moment to clear his head. He knew that Johnny was dealing with a lot, more than anyone knew. Johnny had been carrying this burden around with him for months now, hiding it away, pretending it wasn't real. Sam could not forget the look on Johnny’s face, the way he spoke of Tom finding him. Sam and Callum had been sent to retrieve wives of men. They were fiercely loyal. Not because they loved their husbands, or believed in them. No because of a bone deep fear of what they knew would happen if they weren't. 

Men like Tom Baker lived off fear, they survived by knowing they were the one in power. Johnny had taken away his power, he had left him, gotten out. Sam had gotten a good look at him, won’t take more than a phone call to get the information he would need. He knew once Callum found out he’d want the information as well. Everything inside of Sam wanted to hunt him down, he knew he’d have to talk Callum down. But Johnny didn’t need that on his conscience, and in the end it would be. But you would bet anything if Tom was here, he wasn’t touching Johnny--ever again.

Walking out, he went straight to get dressed. Johnny was sitting at the table drinking a glass of water as Sam walked out. Sam pulled out an outfit, looking over to Johnny who was texting on his phone. Sam knew likely it was probably to Ben or Lee. Lee was home, and Linda was going a little overboard with the mothering. Sam had to wonder if that was why she was being a pain with Callum. Lee was staying with Whitney instead of with them, so her feelings were hurt. Mix in her struggles with Mick as well as Nancy and Tamwar moving into their own place with Tamwar’s parents helping to decorate. 

It was all clear, Linda left out of place.

“So,” Sam sighed coming to stand next Johnny. “We should probably talk…”

“Sam,” Johnny smiled softly, his voice smooth but Sam didn’t want any misunderstandings. “I like how things are.”

“You ignored me for almost three weeks,” Sam reminded him watching Johnny’s face turn pink. “I don’t want there to be any misunderstandings about what I want.” Johnny eyes met his, and Sam felt his heart race. “or about what you want.” Sam took the seat in front of Johnny.

“What do you want,” Johnny asked, putting his phone down.

“I want this,” Sam admitted pointing to the both of them smiling, then Johnny watched the smile faded into a deep frown. “I won’t lie though, this, us, petrifies me.” Johnny nodded. 

“I understand that,” Johnny smiled, “I feel that way too.” Sam felt like any part of his heart that was dead just got shocked back to life. “I just don’t want you to push yourself into a relationship you aren’t ready for.” Sam didn’t know what to say, Johnny looked away. “Tell me what you want from me.” 

“Do you want me to see other people,” Sam asked watching Johnny look back at him, biting his bottom lip. “Because I don’t want you with other men.” Johnny bit his lip harder to try to remain passive. “Do you?”

“You know I don’t,” Johnny bite back, he’d stormed out not three weeks ago after seeing him with hand on Riley’s arm laughing at something he said. “But I also don’t want you to wake up in three months wishing you had someone else, someone…” Johnny stopped seeing Sam’s face shift.

Johnny had told himself that Tom no longer controlled his life, he was free from his clutches. He had been thinking about it for a while since he came back from seeing his family. Seeing the way Callum and Ben were so in love, so devoted to each other. He had reached out to Harper, but somehow Tom had found out. He paid for it, promised while smelling the ugly flowers with a fake apologetic look on his face that he was sorry. Went on and on about how he should have just hung up, it won’t happen again. Tom believed him, why wouldn’t he.

In his mind Johnny was stupid, weak. 

Tom left for a weekend, didn’t tell him with who or why he just said he’d be back Monday, expected a clean tidy house and good meal waiting. Harper showed up out of the blue, hearing about Tom being gone, he didn’t take no for an answer. He and his brother packed the items up of Johnny’s. Only what he brought, nothing more, nothing that Tom had ever given him. Johnny refused to tell anyone about Tom, but Harper hid him away. Tom went on the rampage; Johnny changed his number---again. Called Ben, gave him a lie, listen to him gush about his Valentine’s day plans. 

Johnny called said he was coming home, it was time. On his way home he stopped in for a drink, he needed to be out again. He needed to see people, he needed to be Johnny again. Then he saw Sam, and he was everything that Johnny needed that night. Then he saw him again, and he liked how Sam made him feel. He liked that Sam made his heart race, like that he felt like he was floating around and around forever. But Tom was still in his head, he could still hear is voice telling him, _no one would ever truly want him_. He wasn’t good enough if he were Tom wouldn’t need the other men he turned to. 

Johnny hated that Tom still owned his head.

“What you went through, are going through is real Johnny,” Sam tells him, Johnny wanted to yell he knew that, but he couldn’t speak. “You can’t just will this away, and pretend it never happened. I know you want to; you want to be you again but that is going to take time.” Johnny nodded, he just wanted to feel like Johnny Carter again. “I will never betray your trust unless it’s to save your life, but I do think you should talk to someone.” Johnny looked to the side, then back to Sam. “I want to be your boyfriend.” 

“I want that too,” Johnny whispered smiling as Sam took his hand.

“if things get too much, if you need me to back off, to let you collect yourself,” Sam told him lacing their fingers. “Just tell me.” Johnny nodded. “I won’t get mad, I just need to know when I am crossing a line.”

“I need that too,” Johnny told him watching Sam smile. “I need to know if you need space or time by yourself.” Sam wanted to argue, even opened his mouth. “You lost the only person you ever loved, that doesn’t just go away. No matter how messy it was, you still loved them.”

“You have Callum’s heart,” Sam told him in awe moving Johnny’s hand to his lips. Johnny smiled, he felt good. “We’ll take it a day at a time, build from there.” Johnny nodded smiling brightly.

Sam knew that there was more they needed to talk about, he needed to tell him about Cora. He needed to explain to him about Wesley, about the night that he lost them both. Cora had been his world, she had been in his blood, the driving force behind his life--or so he thought. Wesley had been his best friend since they were ten, no one knew him better than Wes. They had been the unbreakable three, his mother still hung their photo up. They had dreams, they had plans, and in one moment he lost it all.

Sam was a mere shadow of the person he was before that night. 

He joined the Army, he wanted to die, he wanted to be with them again. He wanted to end this life because how could he live without Cora, without Wesley. Sam knew that explaining that would take time, it would take a level of intimacy he just wasn’t ready for. Right now, Sam felt like Johnny saw a part of him that only Callum had ever seen, and that made him feel weak. Raw. Sam knew this was a beginning, he didn’t love Johnny, but Ben was right. He wanted to. 

He wanted Johnny to own him in a way that Cora never did. In the way he wanted Wesley to love him, but never did. 

Johnny had to heal, he had to accept what had happened to him. They needed to deal with Tom Baker. And if he was here in Walford, Sam and Callum needed to deal with that. Tom hadn’t followed them, he watched there was no sign of him. Sam knew that Johnny had to accept all this first, he needed to stop hiding behind the mask he wore. The carefree jokester, the trickster of the Carter family. But that wasn’t Sam's decision, he’d be there when Johnny decided to tell people. If Johnny wanted he would walk with him, he’d sit next to him, he’d do anything to make sure that smile never left Johnny's face again.

Standing up, Sam took Johnny’s hand. Johnny would deal with this; he would come out stronger better than ever before. But that was for later, right now they had a double date with Ben and Callum. Right now, they were on their way of figuring this out. Johnny smiled as they walked out the building, Sam taking his hand again. They walked down the street; Johnny felt like he was floating on air again. Neither of them missed Ben’s smirk as they came into his view. This was enough for today, they still had tomorrow.

Tomorrow. 

Tomorrow they’ll talk more, tomorrow they’ll deal with more of the past, but right now they’re just going to enjoy today.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> The next installment will be Love Freely, and I am hoping to have the first chapter out sometime in January. 
> 
> Thank You, everyone for the support. I can't believe it's been a year, and what this series has become. I would never have dreamed it. I am truly grateful. 
> 
> THANK YOU!!!


End file.
